Dealing With Pain
Pain is something that we all deal with throughout our lifetimes, and can come in many forms. Physical, mental, emotional, financial, and so on. Sometimes all of the above.
When you try to run from pain, or deny pain, you create suffering. When you face pain and accept it you create presence. When the second option becomes your primary way of Being, pain loses its grip on you.
Learning To Appreciate Pain
One of the most interesting people who has risen to prominence in recent times is a former Navy SEAL and ultra-athlete named David Goggins.
Before rising to more global recognition, he was still a well-known figure within the ultra-marathon community. So much so that successful entrepreneur Jesse Itzler paid Goggins to come live with him for 31 days, which he chronicled in a book called “Living With A SEAL”.
Throughout the 31 days Goggins puts Jesse through a series of rigorous athletic exercises, training him to harden up in the face of life’s adversities. Despite being initially reluctant, Jesse grows to really appreciate Goggins’ way of life, and goes on to become deeply impacted by it.
There are many memorable moments throughout the book, but one that stands out to me comes in a simple quote when Goggins got back from running a seventy-five mile race. After stepping away from Jesse for a few days to run the race he comes back with his toenails missing and stress-fractures in his feet. When Jesse asks him if he’s going to have them looked at he just laughs and says he’s going to sit down and enjoy the pain. “I earned it” he says.
Taking Better Care Of Yourself
Most pain is self-created. We create pain when we look at a situation, or how we feel in a given moment, and become resistant to it. This converts the pain into suffering like I mentioned earlier.
Although you can’t rationally spend your whole life sitting in the house by yourself, avoiding anything and everything to avoid pain, you also don’t want to tear yourself apart unnecessarily.
You see it a lot with ultra-athletes in particular. You see folks with wrinkly skin, poor posture, and tired looking facial expressions. And that’s because if you are not careful, pain can become just another “not-enough” in life.
Pain and stress can become just another addiction like anything else. When that becomes your primary mindset, you may compulsively find yourself pushing things farther than what is actually necessary on a constant basis. So much so that what was once a good and constructive thing such as exercise actually becomes detrimental and harmful.
Not Becoming Too Comfortable
A few years ago I was listening to a podcast featuring former NBA player Andre Iguodala when he said something that really stuck out to me.
As a vet, he was providing some feedback to one of the younger guys on the team and told him “You’re trying too hard to not try. It would actually take less energy to try“.
Sometimes when we try too hard to make things cozy, comfortable, and happy we actually just set ourselves up for dissatisfaction. We expect that everything is going to be smooth, sunshine, and laughter, and when reality doesn’t meet our expectations it causes disappointment.
On the flip side, when we embrace life’s challenges we actually become more invigorated and energized.
Starting A New Year
These things can all be relevant when starting a new job, getting into a new relationship, or even starting a new year.
At the beginning of a new year everyone has a different opinion. Last year it was “oh, we’re going to get a big recession”. When I heard that I naturally set low expectations for the year, and it ended up being a good year.
This year some have said that things are going to get good, others say that policy changes with a second-year presidency could make things tumultuous.
Regardless, when you walk into things expecting everything to be rosy, shiny, and amazing, you internally start to place greater significance on outside circumstances. At that point, it becomes difficult to acknowledge challenges and adversity, because that would contradict the bright, happy vision that you had in mind.
Let Happiness Come As It Will
With whatever you pursue in life, there will inevitably be moments of joy, harmony, and bliss.
When you stop running from pain, denying pain, or being afraid of pain, you allow these moments to enter much more frequent and seamlessly.
Because you allow pain to have it’s place within the greater outlook of your life’s circumstances, it actually becomes an asset to your situation.
My Grandfather has told me on several different occasions that “a little bit of stress in life is good”.
If there was no challenge, adversity, or pain to your situation, you would never have any incentive to grow.
Having The Ability To Walk Away
One of the positives of becoming financially independent, as well as not becoming too dependent on things in general is that it gives you the ability to walk away. Whether that be from a relationship, a job, a friendship, a living premises, or an entire town.
Pain can be helpful in pushing you forward in that regard, but in some cases, there may come a point where it has served it’s purpose.
Being able to have the choice, as well as the internal fortitude to walk away from situations that are no longer constructive is one of the greatest things you can ask for in life.
Thank You For Reading
As always, I want to give a big thank you to anyone who has taken the time to read. I hope that you have enjoyed, and I look forward to seeing you on the next one.
