How To Tell If You’ve Found Someone You Like

Over the years, in my dating life, I’ve had plenty of opportunities to say yes—and just as many moments where I chose to say no.

At different points in my early twenties, that wasn’t always an easy decision. I remember watching friends get into relationships, seeing engagement photos, and wondering if I was missing something important.

Now, at 29, I see those experiences differently.

Many of the women I crossed paths with went on to build lives of their own—marriages, families, moves across the country. And while I genuinely wish them well, I’ve come to feel grateful that those paths weren’t mine.

Not because there’s anything wrong with them—but because they wouldn’t have been right for me.

As time goes on, finding the right match can become more challenging—but it also becomes more meaningful.

Here are a few ways to tell if you’re on the right track.

#1 It’s Mutual

If things feel too one-sided, lop-sided, or unnoticed, then it’s probably not a good match. If advances feel unwelcomed or unreciprocated then it’s probably not going to click.

Texting with no response. Having the girl look over your shoulder at your roommate because he has a “really nice car”. Or even having a woman want to jump in bed with you on the first night. These are all the sorts of things that can accompany a situation that probably just isn’t it.

But, if things feel mutual, you may find yourself and the other person growing brighter, looking better, and feeling healthier. It is as though your own light is being reflected back to you.

#2 It’s Natural

When it’s truly a good match, things shouldn’t feel too forced. It’s almost as if the words just roll off the tongue, and the encounters arrange themselves with ease.

It’s almost as if you just happened to be at the right place, at the right time. My Grandmother calls them “divine encounters”.

When you find yourself trying too hard to squeeze a square peg into a round hole, it probably isn’t the right fit.

#3 You Don’t Feel Embarrassed or Ashamed

In the early stages of getting to know someone, it is not uncommon to feel some discomfort. What separates the good from the not good is a mutual acceptance of those feelings. If there is not an underlying patience and understanding on both sides, then it probably isn’t a good match.

But, even on top of that, sometimes there can be similar feelings surrounding the other person’s body, or how they promote themselves as a human being.

I remember listening to an interview with Lil Bibby a few years back where he said that he doesn’t go for women with huge bodily features because he’s “not walking around with that”.

If you don’t feel embarrassed or ashamed about your connection with the other person, then there is a good chance that it is a good match.

Final Thoughts

A few days ago, I had a conversation with a man in my neighborhood that stuck with me.

He shared some of the challenges he’s faced over the years—difficult relationships, feeling taken advantage of, and situations where things became more complicated than they should have been. At one point, he even described living in an environment where he felt completely walked over.

Hearing experiences like that is a reminder of how different people’s paths can be—and how the choices we make in relationships can shape so much of our day-to-day lives.

As I’ve gotten older, I’ve started to see more clearly what I want—and just as importantly, what I don’t.

And for me, that clarity has been worth every “no” along the way.

Thank You For Reading

Thank you for taking the time to read. Have a great rest of your day, and I will see you on the next article.