Letting Go and Embracing What I Have

As I was riding home a few nights ago I made an important realization.

I realized that the life that I am currently living is the life that I truly wanted for myself back when I was a college student.

Back in 2019 when I first moved to Orlando to attend UCF, I did so with the intention of building a real life for myself.

College was just the starting point to get myself in a new location. From there I wanted to build a career, social life, and so on.

However, even though I had good intentions, I was still setting my sights too high. Even though I wanted those things, I wasn’t willing to do whatever it takes to make them happen.

When COVID hit and I was forced to come back home I took it as a good thing, but for a long time I still felt like I “should” have more.

With where I am right now, I am happy to say that is no longer the case.

A Clean Slate

On a recent phone call with my mother, she commented on how cool it is that I am almost 30 years old with what really is a “clean slate”.

Over the years I have worked jobs, attended different colleges, been a part of different friend groups, and even lived with different people, but I am happy to say that is all behind me.

Even though I gained a lot from those experiences, I always knew that those things weren’t what I really wanted in the long run.

Focusing on the Big Picture

Recently I reminded myself that the most important thing is to have the right priorities and be moving in the right direction.

Sometimes it can be so easy to focus on the small minutiae rather than the big picture.

At this point it’s mainly about continuing to build on what I’m already doing so that I can solidify my position.

Remaining Grateful

As I go through my day to day life, I continue to be extremely grateful.

I’m taking less emphasis off of external benchmarks of “success” and am putting more emphasis onto the basics of my situation.

It seems like the less I feel the need to compare my life to anyone else’s, or use other people’s achievements as a measure of where I should be, the better I feel.

Embracing What I Have

In a lot of ways, what I have is what I wanted, and the things I thought I wanted probably didn’t work out for good reason.

Sometimes things sound great on paper, but then when you really look at the ins and outs of what the position entails it just might not be the right fit.

As I continue to move forward I am excited to keep moving in the right direction and finding what works best for me.