How To Determine What You’re Looking For In A Relationship

As I’ve gotten older, the things I look for in a relationship have changed quite a bit.

When you’re young, it’s easy to focus mostly on physical attraction. But as you grow and mature, your priorities often shift. You begin to value things like compatibility, shared values, and common interests.

Know Yourself

Before you can determine what you want in a partner, you need to understand yourself—your preferences, your goals, and your core values.

This can help you find someone that has wants that align with yours.

The last thing you want is the feeling that your partner secretly desires someone very different from you—someone who looks completely different or lives a completely different type of life.

This was actually a point of tension in my own parents’ marriage. My father wanted to leave his white-collar job to start his own lawn business, but my mother was not supportive of that decision.

Once you understand what you value, the next step is finding someone who can complement your life in meaningful ways.

Find Someone That Can Bring Things To The Table

This is another thing that you don’t think about as much when you are young. Ever since my mother moved to a different state a couple of years ago it is something that I have felt more cognizant of.

I’m fortunate to have a mother who is knowledgeable in a wide variety of areas. She’s the type of person who can help you file your taxes, put together your résumé, or even remodel your kitchen. When I was in a car accident a few years ago, she handled most of the paperwork and made sure all of the medical bills were paid properly and on time.

In today’s world these skills are still important, but technology has expanded so much that there are new areas that even older generations such as my mother’s may not be as familiar with, such as starting a business and building an online brand.

In today’s world it might be a good idea to find someone knowledgeable in these areas, but also whatever areas you are personally passionate about.

Find Someone That You Feel Comfortable With

When you’re young you don’t always realize that connecting intimately with someone isn’t as easy as it seems. It often requires a lot of vulnerability and a genuine comfort with who you are.

It’s important to find someone you can talk to openly without feeling like you’re walking on eggshells.

If you can’t see yourself having this person in your life over the long term, it’s probably best not to get too close to them.

Once you start engaging with someone, a lot can happen. What you thought might be a short-term fling could easily turn into moving in together or even having a baby on the way.

That’s why it’s important to be mindful of how you approach relationships in your life.

Seeing Relationships In A Positive Light

Since starting this blog, one of the main critiques of my writing is that I tend to frame relationships and marriage in a negative light.

This is something I’m actively working on. Most people don’t realize that I come from a family where divorce is very common. In my family alone, six people have been divorced one or more times, and many are still single today.

Having seen the other side of the “happy marriage” dynamic, I approach relationships with a lot of attention. When I write about them, I’m often writing from the perspective of what you don’t want to happen, rather than what will.

I know this perspective can be challenging for some, but I hope that as I move forward, I can have a different experience than I did growing up.

Thank You For Reading

Thank you for taking the time to read! I hope that you have enjoyed, and I will see you on the next one.