Dealing With Jealousy
When you are grinding hard and on the come up, there comes a point where other people start to take notice. Although this may not have been the case previously, people may now start to associate you with being some kind of a prodigy. Even when extra attention isn’t what you are really seeking, in some cases, it may come to you.
Sometimes part of the process of being on the come up is learning to deal with jealousy and resentment from others. You could have the best intentions, and be on the truest path you can conceive, but to others, you will become the villain in their story.
Be Understanding
As mentioned before in previous articles, you could be the greatest, most valuable person on Earth, but, the truth is that you didn’t start like that. Chances are that you had humble beginnings just like anybody else. It doesn’t matter if you are Kanye West, Kim Kardashian, or LeBron James. That’s just the reality. And chances are, there may have been points where you’ve experienced some feelings of inadequacy or jealousy as well.
Personally, I have never really been much of a jealous person. I am much more likely to be supportive of others, even if they are in a much better place than I am. However, there is one moment that stands out to me from a few years back.
I remember being at the house, watching some music videos online, and actually finding myself getting angry at what I was watching. The guy on the screen was just being a typical rapper, flashing his nice car, good looking girl friends, and performing his lyrics with swagger and confidence, but to me it seemed like he was rubbing it in. As a rapper myself, I remember feeling frustrated, almost feeling as though “that should be me”. It took being able to stand back from that experience to realize that what I was feeling was jealousy.
After having that experience, I can now be more understanding of others who may feel the same. I can also be more understanding of myself and recognize that in those instances, those feelings are a sign that you need to be doing more. If you were truly at peace with yourself, and doing the right things in life, there would be no space for feelings of jealousy or resentment. It’s something I have found to be true on a personal level and I know it’s the same for others as well.
Recognize That Not Everyone Is You
Not everyone was born with the same gifts, talents, and natural abilities as you. Not everyone was born with great genetics, or a loving family that supported them and cared for them. Although these things should never be used as an excuse, the reality is that it may truly be more challenging for some than others.
Sometimes it can be hard to wrap your head around that. When you are so accustomed to living a certain way, sometimes it can be hard to see things from the other person’s point of view. In those cases, that’s where it becomes increasingly important to be patient and understanding.
With this in mind, it’s always important to celebrate the successes of others before your own, and be cognizant of the way you interact with those around you. Realize that success can look a little bit different for everybody. Help others realize their potential and help push them in a positive direction, but don’t hold it against them if they fail to follow through with these things. You can’t want happiness for others more than they want it for themselves.
Don’t Add To It
Don’t get pulled into the fire and add to the situation. Let it be, and don’t let it derail you from what you’re doing. Stayed focused and emotionally centered. Humans have a natural tendency to become reactive and defensive in certain instances. Don’t let that be the case. If anything, use it as encouragement and motivation.
The truth is that criticism, hatred, and jealousy can be great motivating factors. In some cases, it could be a good factor in motivating you to move on to something better. If it wasn’t for dealing with jealousy, resentment, and bitterness from others during some of my past work situations, chances are I wouldn’t be where I am today. Dealing with those negative emotions helped me realize that that wasn’t where I wanted to be in the long term, and motivated me to take action to put myself in a better position.
However, don’t rely on other people’s envy to get you going in life, and certainly don’t try to provoke it. If it’s there, use it as a tool and say yes to it rather than get upset about it. Be grateful and recognize that it’s always better to be the one getting hated on than doing the hating.
Don’t Take It Personal
Realize that not just jealousy, but all emotions, are just aspects of being a human. If a person is not sufficiently self-aware, they will become identified with thoughts and emotions of that nature rather than just allowing them to pass through with no attachment. Realize that those behaviors are not truly them but are rather just emotions that are acting through them. It’s as if a person has gotten sick with a contagious virus, but isn’t fully aware of it.
Don’t form an identity for other people as being “a jealous person”. That would be limiting yourself, and your ability to coherently interact with others. And don’t go around feeling as though anyone and everyone is jealous of you. The reality is that most people are much more concerned with themselves than they are you.
Lastly, don’t feel like every display of disciplinary or authoritative action you experience is an expression of jealousy. In many cases, people truly just want to help. If a manager at your job pulls you aside to give you tips on how you can improve, don’t take that as “oh, he’s just jealous”. Accept feedback from others openly and willingly. Be grateful to others for their contributions, even if it can feel discomforting and challenging.
Thank You For Reading
Although dealing with jealousy can be annoying, the truth is that in most cases, it’s not that big of a deal. When you go out into the world, you are much more likely to encounter generosity, kindness, and open-heartedness than jealousy. Don’t walk around with a polluted perception of the world.
As always, I want to say thank you for reading this article. I hope that you have enjoyed. I look forward to seeing you on the next article, and have a great rest of your day.
